Alfred F. Jones. The Wiki leaks version.
Part new kid on the block, part super power, part wide eyed child, part mad scientist, part jackass, part …you get the point. Alfred F Jones also known as the United States of America, or America.
The plucky little colony that nobody expected much from, who somehow managed to claw his way to the top of the world stage. He’s going to be your hero whether you need saving or not. And if you’re lucky, he won’t make things worse than they already are.
When he’s not scarfing obscene amounts of junk food, he’s either playing video games, checking out the newest scientific and military advancements, or looking for trouble because he’s bored.
Generally loves others and wants everyone to have the same freedom he enjoys. He does not understand that, just because something works so well for him, that it’s not the only way to do things. He’ll pretty much do anything for those who need him, and will protect those he considers friends with frightening tenacity.
He has no problem trying dangerous things just to ‘see what will happen’ much to the chagrin of those who still actually care about him. He has been known to accidentally blow things up mysteriously; even he’s not quite sure how it happens some of the time.
He has held a lot of odd jobs here and there and his favorite job was as a test pilot for the military. A position which he excelled at due to the fact he is a nation and a fairly durable one at that. In fact, flying a plane is where he feels most at home. He is licensed to fly pretty much every kind of aircraft there is, and he is an excellent pilot.
He is absolutely in love with astronomy and has managed to worm his way onto several space shuttle missions.
It is a scientific fact that he only hears about 50% of what’s said to him and he has been known to stop listening to a conversation completely as soon as it turns to something he does not want to hear. He feels that if he had listened to other people’s opinions, he’d still be a colony.
He comes up with tons of ideas, most of them ridiculous because he truly believes that anything is possible. When something doesn’t work, he simply keeps trying. He’s heard people tell him ‘you can’t do that’ only to turn around and prove them dead wrong too many times; so if you think you’re going to try to talk him out of a bad idea, you’re going to need a lot of patience, time, and a sock puppet and even then your chances are slim at best.
On the surface he’s extremely friendly, constantly smiling, and always joking around; he rarely ever lets the mask slip. But the truth is, he suffers from more than a little separation anxiety, and trust issues. They are only made worse by his ability to alienate anyone who tries to get past his wall. He may throw the term "best friend" around rather casually, but he’s always secretly still looking for that friend.
He is incredibly strong, but is afraid of that strength now. He reins it in to the point that he’s almost forgotten how strong he truly is. He could literally rip his opponents into tiny bits with his bare hands, but that fact actually scares him to no end. If he uses his strength he gets called a bully or worse, if he doesn’t he gets called a paper tiger, the latter being a term he hates more than any other slung at him.
He also suffers from a bit of claustrophobia when he's under other stresses. Most of the time he can control it fairly easily, but if he starts to feel trapped or he's got too much going at once, small spaces will start to get to him. When it's at it's worst, well lets just say it isn't pretty. He is still paralyzingly afraid of ghosts (Thanks England... no really, thanks a lot...*grumbles angrily*). Marmite is also not his friend (We can thank England for that one too), to the point of marmite being akin to his own personal kryptonite. Don't want him to touch something?... Cover it in Marmite and he won't go near it, but then neither will anyone else.
The dog tags and service in the military
Alfred is never without a set of dogtags around his neck. He has served in every branch of the military and every rank up to Captain. He refuses to be promoted past that rank, opting to stay in the lower ranks. He does this for two reasons: one, he doesn’t want a position that will stick him in boring meetings on a regular basis and two, he prefers to pretend to be one of the ‘regular guys’, as he puts it. Alfred reenlists as many times as his government will let him get away with. He has become a expert tactical planner on the battlefield, having remembered everything from his own experiences, all the way back to the tried and true lessons taught to him by Prussia.
His government has become increasingly hesitant to continue to let him serve as he tends to come back increasingly more despondent after each tour of duty. The consensus is that his depressions are do to the loss of comrades in arms, but Alfred refuses to talk to anyone about the real reason. None the less, he continues to serve where and when he can.
There have been many important people Alfred has met who were huge influences on his life as a nation. To name just a few we have Ben Franklin, the Wright Brothers, Mark Twain, Marlin Monroe, Robert Frost, Walt Disney, Theodore Roosevelt, and Elvis Presley. Oh and we can't forget Ray Kroc, the founder of McDonald's.
Arthur Kirkland… mentor, brother, enemy, mother hen, friend. Arthur took Alfred in and soon became the center of Alfred’s world, but that was shattered when Alfred was left behind alone for more years than either of them cares to admit to. Alfred did not deal well with Arthur leaving him for so long and when Arthur finally did come back, Alfred was met with demands and trade restrictions. Alfred had pretty much had enough of this and when he asked that he have a say in Arthur’s government about how much he should be paying in taxes, he was flatly refused. It was then he realized Arthur saw him as nothing more than a thing, a piggy bank he could rob every time he ran low on cash. Alfred was pretty much heartbroken at this. He rebelled with all he had and when the dust finally settled he and Arthur were enemies.
It took a long time for their relationship to turn back around again, but it did. By the time WW2 had ended the two of them had managed to find their common ground. Alfred sees Arthur as a close friend. They have fought many more wars side by side as allies than they ever spent against each other. Although Alfred often picks on Arthur, if anyone else picks on Arthur they better think twice because Alfred will protect him at any cost, even if Arthur is in the wrong.
Alfred’s twin brother, Mathew Williams. In the beginning the two were close. When Alfred decided he was going to rebel, he asked Mathew to join him. Mathew refused, and to this day Alfred still does not understand why.
Alfred and Mathew suffered their worst falling out during the war of 1812. To make the story short Alfred was suffering from ‘Manifest Destiny’. It was his first bout of serious crazy. Basically he was looking to take over the entire North American continent, or as much of it as he could get his grubby hands on. So Alfred started the fight by invading Canada and Mathew and Arthur finished it by burning down the White house. Alfred still suffers a small scar over his heart from that.
Today, Alfred is very happy that Mathew is standing on his own and loves his brother more than anyone. He is the one Alfred trusts the most, to the point of sharing the longest undefended border on the planet with him.
Prussia is always going to be a nation Alfred has a lot of respect for, he is comfortable enough with Gilbert as someone he can trust when he has a problem he can’t turn to Matthew for.
Lithuania, now here’s a tough one for Alfred. He really likes Toris, and Toris was indispensable to Alfred during the time Toris worked for Alfred as an assistant. But Alfred feels he let Toris down after the depression hit and Russia came to take Toris back. He has never forgiven himself for letting Toris down and continues to harbor guilt over the incident.
Japan, another Nation Alfred loves but is afraid to get too close to. He really likes Japan and loves hanging out with him. He often comes over Japan’s house unannounced hoping Japan will invite him in. But Kiku is another nation that has a painful past with Alfred. Alfred has trouble remembering the attack on Pearl Harbor, to the point that Pearl Harbor day is still a day he tries to forget as much as possible. Another thing is the bombings of Hiroshima and Nagasaki, Alfred will never forgive himself for what he did. If you managed to corner him in a conversation about it, you will quickly notice that he can’t even say Kiku’s name in regards to either the attack or the bombings.
Russia, Ivan and Alfred have had an interesting history Ivan helped Alfred out during Alfred's civil war and Alfred did what he could for Ivan during the famine in 1921. Since then they have been friends, trading partners, allies, and then there was the whole 50 odd years of crazy referred to as The Cold War. Today, Alfred has found that he still likes his old friend but is unsure of Ivan's feelings towards him. He’s not afraid of Ivan like other nations tend to be. He actually feels that Ivan sort of understands him better than other nations because, even though they were enemies, they still shared the same mental illness, M.A.D. (Mutually Assured Destruction)
South Korea is a nation that Alfred has sworn to protect. The war the fought side by side against Yong Soo's brother has solidified them as friends and allies. Alfred will be the first to admit he doesn't always understand Yong Soo, but he finds Yong Soo a lot of fun to be around.
Vietnam, Alfred's greatest failure to date and the closest thing he ever had to love, but Alfred was still suffering from the cold war madness. He really did love her, but was so preoccupied with his hatred for anything communist that he failed to see the damage he was doing until it was over. He pretty much still turns into a blithering idiot around Vietnam, and has no idea where he stands with the nation at all, but he still cares for her.
None… essentially. Alfred really likes everybody, but he’s still looking for the Bonnie to his Clyde. He’s not necessarily looking for his Lois Lane, but he is looking for his happy ending. It doesn't help that he's pretty clueless when it comes to matters of love. If somebody were to actually try to hit on him, that person would have to use a Mac truck, because subtle hints are just not going to get through to him.
**Update** He has recently discovered that his feelings for Arthur run a lot deeper than just good friends... But he still has some insecurity over whether Arthur feels the same way, given Arthur's age and .... well, he's part of Europe... (if ya know what I mean) He will never interfere with Arthur's relationships, but he will watch like a hawk. He tends to turn the jealousy in on himself more, as the hero would never stand in the way of true love, but he does make he himself known to other nations who seem to be only bothering Arthur.
Alfred’s other hobbies include film making, motorcycles, race cars, snowboarding, mountain biking and anything fast and dangerous.
His glasses, Texas are actually prescription, he is horribly nearsighted.
He carries several more scars. There is one large one across his upper right arm from Kiku’s attack on Pearl Harbor. The largest one goes across his lower abdomen from the Civil War. There is a also one going across his left shoulder from 9-11.